10 Characteristics of Successful Relationships

People seeking couples counseling seek change to a relationship

dynamic that isn't working in some way. The problems can

include poor communication, lack of emotional safety,

resentment, trust violations and many other issues. It might

even be that the couple have different ideas of what the

problems are or simply a felt sense that things are not right.

Couples who demonstrate the makings or potential of a strong

relationship foundation are in a better position to work through

challenging situations as they arise.

There are many attributes of healthy and connected relationships

but here are some of them:

10 Characteristics of Successful Relationships

1. Friendship: Couples who have a strong friendship have

staying power. They not only love each other but

genuinely like each other as people. They enjoy hanging

out together. They might even consider each other their

“best friend.”

2. Humor: Partners who can make each other laugh tend

to be good at de-escalating conflict when it arises. Be

cautious of appropriate use of humor. If things have

gotten too tense, it might not be appropriate in that

moment.

3. Communication: Those who are able to openly express

their feelings and avoid burying hurt or anger, often deal

with situations as they come up more effectively. This

avoids the build-up of resentment.

4. Chore Sharing: Couples who divvy up the household or

parenting responsibilities collaboratively are less likely

to harbor bad feelings about what they perceive as

“unfair.” When both are participating in the relationship

and related duties, it lends itself to a team atmosphere.

5. Sexual Intimacy: Couples who feel sexually and

physically connected, tend to feel more cared for. But

keep in mind there are varying levels of needs and

meanings to sexual intimacy. Talk to each other about

it.

6. Affection: A hug, kiss, tussle of the hair and other brief

displays of affection remind each other that they

matter. This is especially important with hectic lives

with work and family obligations. Brief displays of

affection can remind each other that you’re still there

and love each other.

7. Avoidance of the “Horsemen of the Apocalypse”: This

is a term coined by couples researcher, John

Gottman, PhD, who is able to predict divorce with

incredible accuracy. His “four horsemen of the

apocalypse” are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and

stonewalling. Work hard to avoid these behaviors to

minimize damaging the relationship.

8. Mutual and Separate Friends/Hobbies: Partners who

socialize with other couples and also maintain separate

friendships demonstrate balance in regards to honoring

themselves as individuals and the relationship. Self

satisfaction and fulfillment adds to relationship

satisfaction. It’s important to feels secure being who

you are within the dynamic as well as be clear on how

each partner views a satisfactory balance.

9. Reliability: Partners in a relationship want to feel they

can rely upon each other. If couples do what they say

and say what they do, they create an atmosphere of

safety in knowing their words and actions mean

something. They can both breathe a sigh of relief to

know the other has their back.

10. Repair Attempts: When couples take responsibility for

their mistakes with each other, take responsibility and

offer a repair attempt, there is another important way to

avoid resentment to grow. This requires an ability to be

humble.

9 Signs He's Not a Cheater

Being cheated on is the worst. You feel rejected but also pissed.

You don't know who you can trust. Well, scientific studies have

narrowed down some traits that are statistically more common

in guys who cheat, so here are some signs (not confirmation,

obviously) that your guy will never stray.

1. You bring home the same amount of money. A recent study

from the American Sociological review showed that partners

were less likely to cheat if they were in the same (or similar)

income brackets. Men were more likely to cheat if they made a

lot more money than their partner, and they were most likely to

cheat if they made a lot less. So if you two have similar

paychecks, you've got statistics on your side.

2. He's from the Midwest. According to this poll , Midwesterners

are just too well-mannered to cheat on their partners.

3. His friends are also faithful. People are more likely to cheat if

their friends are also cheaters, according to M. Gary Newman,

author of The Truth About Cheating . If his friends are trustworthy,

it's likely he's trustworthy too.

4. He feels loved and trusted. According to a study conducted by

Newman , most men don't cheat because they're not satisfied

sexually. They cheat because they're seeking emotional

satisfaction.

5. He's an extrovert. Extroverts are less likely to go along with

the influence of others. Research shows that introverts are

actually more likely to cheat because they're more likely to agree

to someone propositioning them. So even if he's always out

there meeting new people, you actually might be safer.

6. He just seems like the kind of guy who wouldn't

cheat. According to a real study that people spent time on ,

researchers found that you can trust your gut when it comes to

guys who look like they'd cheat. If your gut is telling you "no,"

then it's a good idea to listen to that gut.

7. He's really into Pantera. Yeah, according to this survey

conducted by the Mirror (so, questionable), heavy metal listeners

are apparently the least likely to cheat.

8. He comes from a big family. A survey from adult meet-up site

Seeking Arrangements shows that cheaters are usually only

children. Ask if he has a sister.

9. He has a hard time getting it up. A sad study published in

the Archives of Sexual Behavior showed that men who are easily

aroused are more likely to cheat, so I guess mark one in the

"pros" column for whiskey dick.